Take Courage: You Build More Than You See
A few minutes ago, literally before posting this, I was ready to come here and post that I'm closing MMM. I've been working at this site/magazine for a number of years now and frankly, I'm tired. This started out as a labor of passing skill along to others who were already in position to lead God's people. I've tried managing a team of writers, and that too has been discouraging. Simply speaking, MMM operates at a spirutal and intellectual loss for me. There's not much that really goes into here that comes back that I can see.
Hence my discouragement. Reading at The Digital Sanctuary today and seeing a post on blogs noted as being best towards web-based ministry endavors was interesting as MMM wasn't on the list. I immediately felt totally ineffective at this.
Before coming to Blogger, I went to HCR's forums and saw a thread titled "Discouraged in Ministry?" That is me, so I read. Not knowing what to expect, but hoping for something that could give me some kind of answer. A sermon from Piper's Desiring God wabsite was linked to entitled "Take Courage: You Build More Than You See."
...Verse 3 shows why the people have become weak and discouraged in their labors. Haggai asks, "Who is left among you that saw this house in its former glory? How do you see it now? Is it not in your sight as nothing?" The workers are discouraged because the memory is still alive of how glorious the temple used to be. Less than 70 years ago it stood in this very spot, the apple of God's eye, the magnificent achievement of Solomon, for centuries the center of holy worship. But instead of inspiring the people, this memory made the people look at the pitiful edifice they were building and feel hopeless. "How do you see it now? Is it not in your sight as nothing?" What's the use, they say. We can't match the glory of Solomon's temple. We're wasting our time. Nothing beautiful or worthwhile will ever come of it. We got along without it in Babylon; we can do without it here. Better to have the beauty of a great memory than a paltry imitation. So their hands are slack in the work...
I honestly have no clue why God keeps me going here. Somedays it really is a burden to just think of what it is that really could serve the Body. Its only been a few minutes, and so discouragement is still here. But this is for God's glory and not my own. Hopefully, that cna be something to keep me encouraged in Him and towards His work, instead of seeing and remembering those who's works shine more than my own.
Just my honesty. No need to respond.
posted by Antoine @ 3/25/2008 07:56:00 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
You would be the exception if - in giving of yourself - you wouldn't feel at times you were empty. But we have a source beyond ourselves to draw from.
You've blessed this pastor for a good long while now. I was in the retail systems biz for a while, have always been a geek, and when I made the transition into FT ministry, knew I needed to work with what I had before.
I'll bet there are a bunch more like me. Maybe you just need a break. I took my first vacation in 7 years last April, then took another in June. Helped me a lot - helped my ministry focus a lot.
If I can help in any way, shoot me an email, but regardless, you have my prayers and my thanks.
I've blogged with two other pastors/writers for a couple of years and we recently shut down our site. I don't like to do things that don't last so it bugged me some. But my philosophy about it all was, I'm only doing this to help folks I'll probably never know or see. That lowered my expectations a bit.
I found out later that we were helpful to more folks than we realized. I think you probably are in that position too. Your blog is one of my daily reads.
Thanks for sharing your struggles at a heart level. MMM is one of my daily encouragements from a Christ-like perspective. I've not contributed as much as I'd like to given life's challenges of late and I've expressed them to your personally. There are few sources of faith and encouragement wedded to technology. This site is truly one of a kind.
Since posting this, I've taken a good amount of time to look not just at MMM, but how I pour out all over. There were a good number of places where I was leaking, and I've pulled back in some areas in order to get those areas patched up.
That being said, I've also done the *smart at the time* thing of taking a drive to the beach. A 3hr random drive to just clear my head and heart and finally find something quiet inside of me to rest with. No pouring in or out, just a moment of rest. More than anything, that's what I see has been lacking.
As for MMM, I am still here. This is the ground that I've been given. Though I admit, its kinda hard to see the use of things and not quite be where its always hearable. I know that when tech comes around to this point again that it will be a good thing, but if previous happenings in my life are any precedent, I will be long gone from those areas and onto something else. Its just the way I was designed, and I have to rest in how I was built, not how I want to be received by man.
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